U.U. has defeated me again. I have started this editing/rewriting process a countless number of times and every time the entire story defeats me. I love the characters, I love their stories and the story that I originally told – very badly – but it just isn’t there for me to rewrite anymore. After the usb failure and the laptop crash I just cannot manage to put my fingers to the keys anymore. It feels as though perhaps this novel doesn’t want to see the light of day yet or maybe just no one is ready for it. I honestly do not know. What I do know is that I give up. I cannot sit here for hours staring at work not getting done. I’m honestly not sure what I am going to work on or even that I can actually write. Perhaps it’s just me doubting myself, but this is some seriously deep doubt I have going on right now. It just honestly seems this novel isn’t meant to be yet, either because I’m terrible at truly planning or I’m generally terrible at writing, I have no idea I don’t even have a beta reader to give me feedback. Thus, I give up; on WIPmarathon, all of it – I tried, I really did, but it just never works out. I feel awful for being a quitter, I really do. Maybe one of these days I will get it right or at least finish what I start to a true completion – possibly even obtain a successful blog. For now I suppose I will stick to being a giant failure in my corner with all my personal issues.