New Year, New Me, & Other News

Velkomin! Добро пожаловать! Bienvenue! Willkommen! ¡Bienvenido! Καλώς ήρθατε!

Welcome everyone to 2017!

2016 was rough, wasn’t it? Good thing that’s over and we all have a fresh new start! To be honest, I wasn’t quite sure what to post today, especially given that my last post was a year ago. I am sorry for being such a flake and just abandoning this last year. As I said numerous times, my personal life got in the way. I will explain that more in-depth in just a moment.

First, I would like to thank everyone who has stuck around and apologize to anyone who waited day after day for a post that never came. I am sorry. I will do my best not to let it happen again.

Now then, the question some have likely asked themselves: “How does your personal life always get so in the way?”

It’s a very simple yet complex answer. I have Rapid-Cycling Bipolar II, anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, and PTSD. I have struggled with all of them since I was a preteen, and I do not take any psychiatric medications for them. Why? Because I have the rarest and most extreme side effects from psychiatric medications. Anti-depressants make me suicidal, anti-psychotics exacerbate my insomnia or put me into a chemical sleep, mood stabilizers never stabilize and I end up sick for weeks on end. My primary care doctor did not like the decision but it was made that despite all my illnesses, taking medications for them were doing more physical harm to my body than any mental good. This was a decision reached by myself and my doctor, I do not suggest everyone do it. Please keep in mind that some of these medications do more harm than good, especially when you’re “finding the right one.”

What stood in my way all last year? Bipolar, anxiety, and BPD pulled a Snorlax and blocked the only way through the canyon of my thoughts. Now, it is partially my fault for allowing myself to wallow and not fighting it as hard as I should have. I do not intend for it to happen again this year. However, now that it is fully in the open, perhaps it’s easier to understand how everything just slipped through the cracks and got lost. I do not doubt it will happen in some form over the next 12 months, but I intend to fight it to the best of my ability. So there may be some lackluster posts where I had to push through, if that is the case, I will add somewhere in the post, likely the bottom, that I’m struggling so you all will not be disappointed if I vanish for a short period from Twitter/Facebook.

Now then, onto the fun stuff!

As you may notice, I’ve changed the blog. I felt it was time to change to something more me and neutral colored. It’s a new year and the last scheme was set up for working solely on Firemists, which might be going out to my first CP soon. Now the focus is more myself with updates about what I’m working on, etc. Besides, after 3 years, it was time for a change. Chronicles of Fate is still in progress but much slower and nowhere near completion (which is why the tab is gone from the top). My collaborator and I have come to terms with the fact that this may literally be something we work on for most of our lives and release somewhere near the end. I may talk about it occasionally, but I don’t plan on it much since it’s a joint effort and my collaborator is not public.

I am currently working on an all new WIP which started as an adopted story seed. I am struggling at the moment with some anxiety about the alterations I made to the original seed. I have this overwhelming worry that what I’ve done is a “dead idea” yet, at the same time, I know it’s not. See, the original story seed was vampire related. Everything now is vampires, zombies, and dystopian governments, which is fine but I shy away from the more mainstream elements. I do this in every aspect of my life and have for as long as I can remember. So rather than vampires, I did research on supernatural races that haven’t really been heavily featured in fiction. Simply put, I chose gargoyles and the very limited folklore about them. They seem so underappreciated in fiction, the few authors who have used them, according to the reviews, didn’t do so well. I love them as architecture and after reading the folklore I’m just drawn to them. I also feel that with so little in folklore about them, there’s a lot more wiggle room while writing than vampires or werewolves or shapeshifters. I mean no offense to those of you writing those types of stories, just that I personally, can’t do it after there’s already been so many. It could also be due to watching The Strain and re-watching my Underworld collection, I don’t feel I could do a vampire anything justice.

In other news: Riku gave us quite a scare last year. We had to rush him to the animal hospital after he got sick and stopped eating or drinking regularly. He’s perfectly fine now. He had roundworms. The vet gave us combination flea, tick, and worm protection treatments and told us when they ran out to come back and we can easily buy more so it doesn’t happen again. He also got a rabies shot which he took like a champ. In the months since he’s been more active, happier, and “talks” a lot more. According to the vet and vet techs, they were very surprised by how he “talks” to people because he opens his mouth all the way which is apparently odd for a house cat. They checked him for everything else while we were there. He’s perfectly healthy now, a little chunkier now that he’s eating correctly.

About… 3 months after the scare with Riku, we got other news. I had planned this elaborate dinner and movie night with the kids for Hubby’s birthday in October. (I was dealing with a whole bunch of family drama nonsense the first half of 2016.) It was sort of a dual gift, I was going to make him dinner and let the children watch a horror movie which I don’t normally allow because they’re still on the younger side. Instead of any of that happening, I end up ill the entire weekend of his birthday. I could barely get out of the bed without getting sick and I couldn’t keep anything down. Naturally, we thought I had a bad cold or the flu because I was having some sinus problems beforehand. It was not a cold or the flu.

We’re having our first baby together!

We got a positive test the day of his birthday and the current calculation is this summer! (So don’t be surprised if my posts get wobbly halfway through the year, yeah?)

Finally, as I have rattled on for a while here, I launched my Patreon last month. After this post, the posts are going to be identical on either site. I would give you a long winded explanation of my Patreon, but it would be a lot easier to just click the link and all the information is right there. I made a Patreon account because I do not have a day job aside from being a wife and parent. My job is my writing and I would like to earn a living wage by doing so. I understand that money is tight for most people, it’s not a requirement that you give any money but the support would be appreciated. If nothing else, please tell your friends. The money is going toward my craft first, though it will likely buy coffee more than once, I will not lie. Why I am asking is for my craft, not my children or husband, but for my writing and eventual, very likely, self-publication.

Both this WordPress and my Patreon will be active with posts, possibly videos, and photos. I have 2 separate computers now. One is a classic laptop with Windows 7 Professional on it (thanks to my wonderful in-laws over the holidays) and the other is my personal Windows 8.1 Nextbook for the time being (probably going to use the tablet function a lot in the summer). So I have everything separated in the hopes I won’t get distracted by my personal emails and Facebook but focus instead on my professional emails, Facebook, Twitter, and blogging. So far I have been a great deal more focused, I hope to continue that trend.

My goals for this year:

  • Maintaining consistency
  • Staying motivated despite my emotions
  • Keeping a schedule and not deviating unless absolutely necessary
  • Building my platform
  • More CPs
  • More beta readers
  • Making new connections
  • Going for it instead of overanalyzing
  • Finish and fully edit a manuscript
  • Do at least one photoshoot with my childhood best friend as her makeup artist

About that last bullet; we have been best friends since we were 10 years old (17 years ago) and she has finally started following her dream to be a model. I’ve been trying to become a makeup artist for the last 6 years (it’s not as easy as it sounds). She has offered to let me come to her shoots with her as her personally chosen makeup artist so I could really make a career at it alongside her if we work hard at it. I will let you all know how that goes. In the meantime, check her out on Facebook & Instagram!

Many blessings to you all and a very happy new year!

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